


Diary of John Smith, a prison guard

by Kana_Go



Series: Russian to English translations [9]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Prison, Translation from Russian into English
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 13:18:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16041257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kana_Go/pseuds/Kana_Go
Summary: Prompt: Brock Rumlow is in prison. Someone important wants him to escape. He's transferred from a supermax to a minimum security prison. Contrary to expectations, Rumlow escapes neither on the way, nor from the new prison. Then they replace normal guards with bone heads. Tnen another relaxation of the rules. And another. Half of the inmates have already escaped, but Rumlow sits in his cell and tries nothing. Why?!





	Diary of John Smith, a prison guard

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Дневник Джона Смита, охранника](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13848684) by [Schwesterchen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schwesterchen/pseuds/Schwesterchen), [WTF_Brock_Rumlow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WTF_Brock_Rumlow/pseuds/WTF_Brock_Rumlow). 



October, 5  
Got the task from upstairs: we’re to transport a prisoner. He’s being transferred to us from a supermax. They say this dude is a tough one, caused tons of trouble, and they also say we must let him escape. Without being too obvious. And still we must let him escape, no matter what. They don’t say why, but our job is to carry out orders. If they want him to escape, we can do it.

October, 6  
Brown and I went and fetched the prisoner. The guy is ugly as sin, as if someone had a barbecue on his mug. Name’s Rumlow.  
So we decided we wouldn’t drag our heels and let him escape right on our way. We were going through a little wood and Brown pretended the van had died. While he was playing with the engine I pulled the prisoner aside and told him to have a stroll and some fresh air. Then I turned my back to him and dropped the key to his handcuffs ‘by accident’. I walked away a bit and heard him running. I was really happy we’d done such quick work. But it turned out he was running not from me, but towards me. “Here, you dropped this,” he said. And then he suggested checking under the hood because he knew about cars. Brown realized we were a bit bummed out here, so he ‘repaired’ it hurriedly and we drove on. Okay, we’ll figure this out on-site.

October, 8  
Here are the things I tried to drop in front of the prisoner in turn: a mobile, a picklock, a shiv, the keys to his cell, a pepper-ball, a stun gun, and a MK3A2 hand grenade. He’s picked up none. He seems to be sure that I’m stalking him. And that I suffer from very advanced Parkinson disease.

October, 9  
I thought perhaps he needed some theoretical knowledge so through a janitor I put the guideline _101 Ways To Break Out Of Jail_ in his cell. Rumlow figured out that was me, gave the guideline back and said he preferred old sci-fi novels. Bejabbers! My superiors are getting worried, the deadline's getting serious.

October, 12  
Brown, ginger Baker and I dug a tunnel through the wall of the vacant cell and covered the hole with the Rita Hayworth poster. Then we transferred our prisoner there. Waiting.

October, 15  
A dozen of more or less well-read inmates are missing. Rumlow’s still here. Through a janitor I put the book _Rita Hayworth And Shawshank Redemption_ in his cell. He gave it back to me and said he preferred old sci-fi novels. It looks like the task is harder than I thought.

October, 16  
I removed the Rita Hayworth poster and replaced it with the _Have YOU Already Broken Out Of Jail?_ propaganda poster with _This Way Out_ in fine print. Maybe it’ll help.

October, 18  
Another couple dozen prisoners are missing. Rumlow’s still here. Dang!

October, 20  
I put up Walker, Luis and Kelly from cell 10 to escaping this night. I promised them I’d turn a blind eye to everything if they took Rumlow with them. I’m even willing to pay them for that.

October, 21  
Walker, Luis and Kelly are at the infirmary. They say they honestly wanted to take Rumlow with them, but he refused. When they tried to roll him in the blanket and carry him away by force he got angry and beat them. He’s a tough guy indeed, you can't argue with that. Rumlow’s in the hole. I’m in sorrow.

October, 22  
I was passing the hole and here’s the set: Brown and ginger Baker are dragging Rumlow out of there while the guy’s sprawling in the doorway and shouting, “No way! I decided I’d do my time and I’m going to do my time!” A man of principle, you know. I walked past them pretending I saw nothing.

October, 23  
Me and the guys had a brainstorming session. Also we drank. Also we thought a lot.

October, 24  
We continued our brainstorming session. Also we thought. Also we drank a lot.

October, 25  
While we were thinking and drinking, half of the inmates disappeared. Whatever. Rumlow’s still here.

October, 26  
The superiors said we shouldn’t be too obvious, but what can we do if Rumlow can’t take a hint? So we broke the prison wall and took the rest of the inmates out for a walk. Waiting.

October, 27  
Everyone escaped. Save for Rumlow and old Joe nicknamed Hawkeye because he’s blind as a bat. I’m going to cry.

October, 28  
I put a big neon sign flashing _WAY TO FREEDOM_ over the gap. Also I rolled out a red carpet.

October, 29  
Joe the Hawkeye escaped. Rumlow’s still here. I’m crying.

October, 30  
I blew up the prison. There’s no one here, anyway. Sad Rumlow is sitting amidst the smoldering rubble.

October, 31  
Rumlow won’t leave. I wanted to kick him out, but remembered Walker, Luis and Kelly and changed my mind. Instead, I approached him, sat down next to him and we got to talking. He wouldn’t tell me anything for a long time, but finally he cracked. It turned out Captain America was waiting for him out here. More precisely, Captain America armed with three tons of reproachful stares, a carload of measured reprimands and the prospect of magnanimous forgiveness. So Rumlow hoped he could hide at least in prison, and here are we and our ‘hints’. I even felt sorry for him: these educational videos are all over TV and radio now, I know what this must be like, and this dude is going to have them live, 24 hours a day.

November, 1  
From under the debris we dug up a bottle of whisky left after brainstorming.  
When the whisky was over Rumlow said he’d figure something out and crawled away on the red carpet.  
I feel sorry for the guy, but that’s a load off. Mission accomplished.

November, 15  
In connection with the liquidation of my former workplace, I found the new one.  
During the morning count I saw the familiar ugly mug. The mug winked at me. I have a bad feeling.

November, 16  
Got the task from upstairs: we must let a prisoner escape. They say this dude is a tough one, caused tons of trouble… I didn’t stay to hear his name. I believe I’ll go and hang myself now.

 

THE END


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